Justice Bird Remembers When

I remember when I was little, the dental hygienist was always on my back about not flossing. She would literally yell at me, and sometimes, when she was feeling particularly cruel, she’d even tell me that if I didn't floss at least 3x a day, my teeth would just fall right out!

"Why do you refuse to floss!?" she would always scream.

"Because I'm FIVE!!" I thought bitterly.

One day, when she was taking particular pleasure in pricking my young, tender gums, an idea came to me. "What about my parents?" I asked. "They don't floss all the time, and they still have nice teeth, don't they?" Knowing she was trapped, the she-devil could only glare at me.

Needless to say, on that glorious day I walked out with TWO plastic mood rings.