Okay, Okay

Let's be honest.

It was twice, actually.

Secrets

Justice Bird has never peed in the shower.

Well, once.

Bird Flu II

An aerial view of the Bird Flu devastation:

Bird Flu

Justice Bird has never been sick.

Well, once.

Memorable Moments from a Not Uneventful Life

"Do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Justice Bird... I expect you to die!"

"!!!!!!!"

Justice Bird is Better than You

Here is you falling asleep:

*(…….....z……..z………z……..z……..zzzz.....z....z.z……zzz...)*

Here is Justice Bird falling asleep:

*(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)*

Justice Bird not vain

It Just Wouldn't Work

If you were a cat, and I was a dog,

and we were in love...

it just wouldn't work.

You're covered in cat spit.

Mail Call!

Hi Justice Bird,

What do you think of snow cones?

- Robbie, Los Angeles

--------------------------------------------

Dear Robbie,

The snow cone!! Ever since I was a child they enticed my imagination. Oh! The spectacular color combinations of luscious goodness! For years the snow cone held this tantalizing power over me. Any time I saw a stand, I would immediately get one, and sometimes two or three! Then, yesterday, when I actually stopped to think about your question, I realized that snow cones weren't much more than artificial flavoring and frozen water. Needless to say, the spell was broken, the love affair over, the dream gone…

Thanks a lot, Robbie.

Your friend,

Justice Bird

Caw!

Justice Bird Unplugged

This is me at the absolute peak of my haircut cycle.

I wish I could look like this all of the time.

Justice Bird says

People with peanut allergies need to suck it up and stop ruining it for the rest of us!!

It Just Wouldn't Work

If you were a seagull, and I was a donkey,

and we were in love...

it just wouldn't work.

you live at the beach.

Justice Bird: The Facts Behind the Truth

Justice Bird has a photographic memory that’s high-def. When he remembers things, they’re actually better and more vivid than when he lived through them the first time.

He has made a fire without matches, a shelter without branches, and a walking stick without wood. He has built a raft out of rocks.

The last time he got sick to his stomach was never.

Caw!