Mail Call!

Dear Justice Bird,

I’m your biggest fan! But, I was wondering why you don’t help out more charities? Thanks!

- Freddy, Albuquerque

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Hello Freddy,

Thank you for your email. I try to help out whenever I can. However, please remember, I am a BIRD!!

Also, this unfortunate event happened recently and, honestly, it did sour me a little bit...

So I’m in the hospital elevator, wearing a Make-A-Wish Foundation
t-shirt, minding my own business. An older, trashy woman gets on. We trade smiles (hey, I'm friendly), and then she says "So, can you make anyone's wish come true?"

and I say, "not exactly, it's more for sick people…"

and then she leans over and does this little fake cough in my ear!

and that's when i threw up in my mouth.

There you go, Freddy. There you go.

Your friend,

Justice Bird

Caw!